#dog - #HEARTBROKEN!

HEARTBROKEN!

Warning: long read, euthanasia and beloved family pet 💔

Yesterday I made the hardest decision of my life 😞 Our beautiful, loyal and loving baby girl was put to rest and at the time I was so sure that it was the right thing to do! But why then do I feel like it was also the biggest mistake of my life 😞

**BACKSTORY**
For a little while, our girl was limping around on and off and the vet had told us it was a dislocated knee, which she popped back into place. We were given meds and told to let her rest it until she showed signs of improvement. This meant laying off all her favs; running, jumping, scratching behind her ears and fetching (while refusing to give stick back to me 🤦🏽‍♀️).

A couple weeks go by and I can't help but feel sorry for her 😥 her knee hadn't popped out again so I decided to find just a small and secluded area where I could just let her run free. Her mood was instantly lifted as she ran from this corner to that  corner, chased sticks (without bringing them back) and rolled around in bark and dirt 🤦🏽‍♀️ she was happy.

The very next morning (and only last week 😞) I wake up to find her on the ground, panting so heavily her body is shaking with every breath! She can't get up when I call so we rush her to the vet and we're told she is in a lot of pain. She might have Locked her knee and because it was so painful, was too scared to try and move it again. Shes given some morphine and other painkillers to take home and we were told to see how she goes after a few days.

I was only able to give her one days worth of pain relief after the morphine wore off, before she refused to eat all together 😞 I was carrying her in and out of the house so she could relieve her bowels and when I put her outside Friday morning she just collapsed on her belly, unable to hold herself up at all anymore 😥

I picked her up and laid her on the porch so l could wash off some of the grass stains. I noticed she was back to her old loving, big eyed self. No signs she was in pain especially given that she hadn't taken any pain relief I was so happy! Until I realized she had no idea I was pouring water down her back and onto her legs 😭 I try to take her back inside when she hollered like I've never heard her hollar before and bites down on my hands to let her go 😭 in all the chaos of my hand bleeding and my sister crying watching our usually very gentle and loving pitbull in obvious distress! I didn't even notice shes peed all over me at the same time.

We rush her to an emergency vet and are told she is in a lot of pain, and a possible slipped disc has made her paralyzed from the waist down. She requires an emergency spinal surgery, costing $10,000. We're not well off at all but with a 60% chance of her walking again, we wanna give her a chance. Once they do proper scans, its realized that it's worse than first thought and now it's a bigger surgery, at double the price with only a 40% chance of walking again. The only way we could afford this was through a loan, but she was still the same beautiful girl up top we had to give her a chance!

Yesterday morning she was due to have surgery, upon further examination its realized that her spine was riddled with abscesses, most likely caused by infection we had no idea about 😞 her knee problem was just a sign that her body was in trouble. And that the real problem was all throughout her body 💔

We could still do the surgery but chances of her walking again is now only 5%. Vet explained quality of life for her was low as she would need to be manually expressed 3 times a day, would be restricted to a wheel chair and need to be turned on her side every few hours. She was only 15months old 😞 my family was so broken! We couldn't believe our girl was so sick inside cos she looked perfectly healthy from the waist up! When I walked into the room, she was so excited and tried so hard to get up to meet me like she used to do every single day 😭 I laid beside her and she made up for what she couldn't by licking my face as much as she could 💔

Omg the pain was unbearable! We were all there to say bye to our girl who looked like not a single thing was wrong with her 😞 I had to keep telling myself it would be cruel to make her live out the rest of her life like that! And that it was the best thing for her but none of that mattered when they finally put her to sleep 😞😞😞 wrapped in our arms and rivers of tears she was put to sleep 💔💔💔💔 and instantly I regretted it!

Has anyone had a similar experience? Please tell me we did the right thing? I'm so stuck on those last moments of her! No signs of sickness at all in her eyes 😞😞😞😞 I really can't believe shes not sleeping right next to me right now.

Submitted March 31, 2019 at 11:42AM by brookland9
via reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/DOG/comments/b7qdsw/heartbroken/?utm_source=ifttt