#dog - #Euthanasia I'm dogs. What kind of guilt did you have?

Euthanasia I'm dogs. What kind of guilt did you have?

I got out of military and came back with the folks for a few weeks. Just in time for the dog to become real lethargic pooping on the floor as well as peeing. Then a couple days ago he wasn't interested in the cat bowls like he usually is and wouldn't eat his own food. This morning he finally ate his food and drank some water, but then threw it all up. He has been popping blood. My mother decided it was time.

This was my first euthanasia experience. Of course as soon as the dog there he became real peppy and had some spirit to him, but still flopping all over the place from his arthritis. We stuck to the plan based on the fact he is over 15 and recent events.

I watched as they sedated him which took all the pep out of him. And for some reason right then and there I felt guilty as fuck. I wanted to stop everything, but didn't. The specialist came in and injected him. As I watched the vet listen to his heartbeat to ensure it had stopped I watched this dog Gasp three times and tongue hang out.

I feel like he could have just done this in his dog bed and I contributed to an early death. I'm feeling guilty as shit. And even though I didn't know him that well I feel for him so hard. Like it's on my conscious so hard.

I lured him out the house. Helped him stand up and lift him in the car just to drive to the vet and have him killed at a certain appointment time.

He was just done on a florescent lit office room laying on a blanket. After we said goodbyes we walked out with an empty leash and I felt the whole waiting room knew and they all had their dogs waiting to get like rabies shots. Everyone knew but it was such an empty feeling and no one would look us in the eye.

I just feel terrible. And even as a veteran who has dealt with a lot I cried my eyes out in the car on the way to the gym.

I just feel even though they say it's painless they know and it's far worse than just dying at the house.

Am I being a bitch? Did I fuck up and should have taken control when he showed a little pep?

Submitted December 08, 2017 at 08:23PM by Mlbphilly77
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